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If I could take one, two, even three months off from work to plan the rest of my life, where would I even begin? I never liked planning very much before. But then again, I never liked writing very much before either.

This week was an extremely interesting one, but don't worry, I'm not going to prattle on about work again. Just this one paragraph:

after early in the week an attempt by my supervisor to quit was thwarted when our boss came rushing to help her any way he could -- he even bought her and the daytime operator lunch -- a subsequent meeting was held to inform us of another pretty nice looking carrot on a rather short stick. I was asked not to divulge the terms of the incentive, but the new system's creator, let's call him Bubba, was bubbling with confidence as he filled us in on his plan to have us out of there by mid July.

But getting back to my opening question, what do I do if it really happens this time? Should Julie and I take a cruise? Or maybe Tour Europe? How about a spa?

That would be nice, but I can't let myself think that when I walk out that door for the last time, my life will be wonderful and all will suddenly be right with the world. While I am looking forward to some time to relax and enjoy myself, funds are limited. And I must be careful to not let my euphoria over leaving the frying pan allow me to overlook the fire below.

So, if I'm to avoid the fire, what shall I do? I need to make a plan of my own, just in case. So far, I've got the first three steps.

First step: Call the unemployment office (actually, the first step would be to find the phone number). Preferably, this step is to be carried out on the front porch while smoking a cigar -- assuming of course that it warms up by then.

Step two: Apply for Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI). I've gone through this mill before. I was turned down and went through the appeals process as well. After losing the appeal, I gave up on it. That was almost fifteen years ago, and I've read that the application process has been considerably streamlined ... I sure hope so.

Step three: Make an appointment to meet with a counselor at the state Division of Vocational Rehabilitation (DVR). This is where I will begin my career planning. DVR provides assistance for education and job placement for the disabled citizens of the state of Wisconsin. I've had plenty of experience dealing with this agency over the years, and I am confident that I can make better use of their services this time around.

The rest of the plan depends on the results of those first three steps. Although I believe that I can better handle myself with respect to navigating "the system," dealing with three different government agencies at the same time is a bit daunting to say the very least.

The strange thing though; I was always somewhat intimidated by and reluctant to ask for help from, these agencies; now I feel empowered and up to the challenge.

While there are sure to be innumerable steps from four to here, the last step -- getting out of the system -- may be the most important. I don't know how long it will take but in the end the first three steps will be complete. I will be self-sufficient, independent, and a productive member of society, no longer dependant on public assistance. If all goes well, I may even be able to give something back to the community -- and maybe even take Julie on that cruise.

I really have changed a lot over the last couple of years. For the first time in my life, I *want* to go to school ... to learn; not to party. I've grown up at last. And although when I was younger I was sure it would never happen to me, it's not so bad after all.

Now older and wiser, I am ready to start over. It's been said that life begins at forty ... I say it begins at thirty-five. So let's get on with it.

All there is to do now is pray that Bubba's plan works. Then I can invoke mine.