* * *

I've received a lot of unanticipated email, most with questions or comments about something of which I've written, and, naturally, I get my share of unsolicited solicitations too. When you make yourself easy to find, there is no way to foresee who may find you.

While I was writing last week's abbreviated column, I got an interesting email. Saying "I'm looking to find the place of employment of an ex-tenant," the writer, whom I will refer to as Nancy Drew, asked "Care to lend a helping hand?" I was quite suspicious, but equally intrigued, so I wrote back: "Well, I'd need to know a little more about what it is you mean exactly. If it's above board and it is within my means to help, I'll do what I can. "

Nancy wrote back the next day, and supplied me with the name and address of her quarry. "I have a subpoena to garnish her wages, but I have to find her place of employment to do so," she said, and added, "Going through professionals is costly." And again she asked: "Care to help me out?"

At this point, I was still very reluctant to get involved in this. I started thinking along the lines of "how can this hurt me?" and decided to proceed with caution. Writing back, I told Nancy that I didn't really know how to get that information -- "Follow her? Knock on the door and ask her? Can't the courts find out through S.S. info?"

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes could ascertain a person's occupation simply by looking at them:

"By a man's finger-nails, by his coat-sleeve, by his boots, by his trouser-knees, by the callosities of his forefinger and thumb, by his expression, by his shirt- cuffs -- by each of these things a man's calling is plainly revealed. That all united should fail to enlighten the competent inquirer in any case is almost inconceivable."
- From " A Study In Scarlet"

That may have been possible in his time, but these days you can't even be sure of a person's gender by their appearance. With more questions than answers for Ms. Drew, I suggested that she call me, and gave her my phone number.

Instead of a phone call, however, I got another email. "Hi Greg. I didn't want to ask, but a tail does seem the only way," she said, confirming my conclusion. She then went on to provide some details as to the events leading up to this point. She certainly has made good use of internet email to track her prey. "I found her residence, only through kind people like yourself via the internet," she said, and yet again asked: "So, what do you say?"

Well, I don't drive, so of course I can't tail her. I thought of my neighbor, whom I now call Dick Tracy, and decided to see if he was interested. "how much will she pay?" he asked after I told him all that I knew about it. So, I then wrote back and explained that I couldn't do it, but, "I did, however, talk to my neighbor, and he might be interested." Then, getting down to brass tacks, I wrote: "He wants to know how much you are willing to pay, as well as the method/ timing of payment."

She quickly wrote back offering $100 for the information, and my neighbor and I were in the private detective business. She also said that she was in the coffee biz and would send me some coffee if I would drink it (that reminds me, I have to send her my mailing address).

Writing Nancy back, I informed her that Mr. Tracy was on the case. All we needed was a description of the subject of our investigation, let's call her Jane Doe, along with the make and model of her vehicle, and he'd stake out her house. Early Monday morning, she wrote back with the requested data but I didn't check my mail until just prior to work on Monday afternoon.

By this time, roughly 36 hours after that first message, we had exchanged a total of 12 email messages -- and we hadn't even started yet.

To be continued next week.