Thoughts

For The Week Ending: March 28, 1998.

[ TIME Magazine for this week]

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No Longer The Recalcitrant Child

It's difficult to put into words my experiences and feelings of this week -- Like deja vu, but different. I first came to Wausau in 1980. Fresh out of Phelps High School, I went through the same program in which I've again been enrolled.

That seems like a lifetime ago. I was a different person then than I am now. I didn't know what to expect nor what was expected of me, yet at the same time, I knew it all. Retrospectively, I was short-sighted and completely oblivious to the realities of life; in short, I was an ignorant, recalcitrant child. I did, however have a lot of fun during that time and learned a few things despite myself.

Since then I had progressed into a position where I was one of the evaluators and instructors of other students. It was strange then, to change roles and become one of the group of what were once my instructors and now I have come full circle, returning to the role of student. At least this time through the gamut I know the rules . . . from the inside. That, plus the fact that I am taking it more seriously this time around gives me a vastly greater chance of reaching my goals and achieving the level of success that has heretofore eluded me.

While many of the people are the same, my relationship to them has changed. As I said last week, the workplace has once again become the classroom; those who were my co-workers are now my instructors and my former students are now my peers. One of my former students replaced me as Instructional Assistant when I resigned at the end of 1995 and I realized this week that he and I have switched places. Just as I had done before him, the student has become the teacher. And unlike that know-it-all kid who came to Wausau from Phelps nearly eighteen years ago, I recognize the fact that there are things that *he* can teach *me*.

But don't get me wrong, I *am* enjoying this, as well as learning a lot. School was always a dreaded chore, and I absolutely hated it. I don't know why I didn't see before now that learning could actually be *fun*. I suppose that, like most kids, I was too hung up on the superficial pressures of social interaction to see what I was missing out on. Now I know that one can take full advantage of the opportunities presented them, while at the same time, enjoying the experience. It's all a matter of attitude, and perspective, and balancing the enjoyment of the now with the preparation for the future.

It's still too early to tell where all of this will lead. Over the course of the next few weeks, that will be determined with further testing and counseling. Now that I've outgrown my recalcitrance, though, I believe I've got my priorities straight. Once the test results are in, I will establish my next goal and develop a plan to get there.

In the meantime, though, I plan on enjoying the ride.

These thoughts copyright 1998 by Greg Roggeman.

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