I've been writing far more email than anything else these
days, and now my youngest brother, Bob, finally got a
computer and learned how to plug into the internet. I was
greeted last Tuesday by his first email (at least to me),
titled: "HERE I AM, DEAL WITH IT."
What follows is a slightly edited reproduction of my first
electronic conversation with my youngest sibling. Welcome to
the net, Bob.
HOWDY PILGRIM, I'M FINALLY ON MY OWN COMPUTER. A
PACKARD BELL, 300 MMX, WITH A 17 IN. MONITOR, COLOR
PRINTER. IT ISN'T ALL HOOKED UP YET, BUT AT LEAST I
CAN GET ON THE INTERNET AND READ YOUR STORIES AND
STUFF. BYE FOR NOW. BOB
* * *
Well hello there, little brother. It's about time
you got wired. Now you can get out there and check
out all of that smut. I see you are on
Prodigy,
what's up with that? I thought you'd would go with
Exec PC
or
something.
Do you like Prodigy so far?
* * *
HI AGAIN, PRODIGY WAS ALREADY ON HERE, AND THEY
OFFERED 2 MONTHS FREE, SO WHAT THE HELL. IS THERE A
DIFFERENCE? THERE SURE IS A LOT OF JUNK TO THIS.
ALL THIS TYPING KIND OF SUCKS. DO YOU HAVE A MIC ON
YOURS? NOT THAT MINE WORKS REAL GOOD, OR KNOW HOW
TO USE IT. TALK TO YOU LATER. BOB
* * *
Hello again, Bob:
Prodigy is fine if it works for you. They're all a
little different in how they go about things but,
in the end, they all do the same thing. It's
probably a little easier than what
Kevin
and I are
doing, though. It really comes down to personal
preference and how much you want to do with it.
Forget the microphone, learn how to type. While
dictation with a mic is possible, it's a pain in
the ass. If you want to play with it, fine; but if
you think you are going to use it instead of the
keyboard, you're in for a lot of pain. Also, stop
shouting at me! TYPING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS IS
CONSIDERED TO BE SHOUTING! And when you send me
email, if you know what I'm talking about, send
just plain text; the email you sent me so far is
some other character set -- HTML and something else
-- which can't be displayed properly on my primitive
system. I have to go through a couple of
steps to convert it to something I can read, so
don't try to get fancy.
Did you hook up your speakers yet? If so, you
should be hearing music when you load my pages --
In The Mood, by Glenn Miller, on my home page, and
a different song on each of my columns. The one on
my story about
the cats
is pretty cool.
Anyway, just keep playing with it, it gets easier.
Later,
--Greg
* * *
Hello Greg. I was talking to a guy at work about
that pathway junk, and he said not to worry about
that in-box because my server already
does that for me. What did you think of the last
message. was it easier to read? I changed the style
tag from normal to formatted. this one I'll send in
paragraph. This computer is like driving a James
Bond car without Knowing about the gadgets. good-
bye for now BOB
* * *
Hi Bob,
Your mail is still screwed up but I can deal with
it.
My computer
is 7 years old and I am not
running windows; I only get that regular old
computer screen -- like a colored typewriter. I
really need a new computer . . . this one doesn't
even play the music, I have to go to school to
listen to it.
I have to go to school for a tutoring session at
10:00 but should be back by 2 or so, if you want to
give me a call. When do you work, sleep, whatever?
Later,
--Greg
* * *
Hi Greg Your computer is 7 years old? WOW! Did you
ever check with
D.V.R.
since your back in school?
Did you ever have this problem with anybody else?
Maybe I'm screwing up somehow. By the way I can
hear the music, and boy does it sound
woooooonderful. bye BOB
* * *
Hello Bob,
I just got home from
Butch's
house. we watched the
Packers kick ass like they're supposed to. I got
your message on the answering machine and I had to
let you know that I didn't get any email from you.
Try it again.
--Greg
* * *
Hi Greg, Hopefully you get this one, my computer
hasn't been like when I first started. But at least
I hope you can read this without having to go threw
those steps, Well let me know how this is. BOB
* * *
Hi Bob,
That's much better. Thanks for taking the trouble
to change that. I hope it wasn't too much of a
problem.
Later,
--Greg
* * *
Greg, It wasn't hard at all, as long as Kevin held
my hand. The only problem I'm having now is, I
lost my send button. So I wasn't sure if I was
sending anything out. Hence the phone call last
night. Hope I didn't type this for nothing Bob
* * *
Hi there Gregory, what's going on man? Your not
writing your stories, your not e-mailing, to say
hay, your not even bitching about my smart-assed
guest book signing. You didn't find a JOB or
something? My nice cushy union job might be in
danger, we're having a world wide 2-week plant
shutdown. 1 week is the week of Thanksgiving and
the other is the week of New Year's. It won't be to
hard to take, but it doesn't look good in the big
pitcher. We're going down by Kevin for
Thanksgiving, but for New Year's we'll probably go
up north. Well I'll type at you later, hope your
doing alright, take care Bob
* * *
Hey Bob,
Yeah, I'm here; I just haven't had much time or
motivation to write. I used to always write on
Sunday afternoon, but now I go over to
Club Butch
to watch the game (sometimes even when the Packers
aren't playing, too) and we get trashed --I didn't
even remember your message on the answering machine
or my email response until I got your last email.
Then, I have my class on Monday afternoon, followed
by another night at Club Butch (Butch has Sunday
and Monday nights off). Since before football
season, we've been getting together on Monday
nights for X-Files. Besides, I don't really have
anything new to say, anyway. Sometimes I feel like
I'm writing: blah, blah, blah...
Kevin advised me to delete your last
guestbook
entry, saying: "you'd be doing him a favor," but
your new one, which I just went to read after I got
your email, is pretty good; I'll leave that one
there, but I think I may have to make that website,
"great gobbly gouk," point to something. Good luck
with that union of yours, but in the meantime,
enjoy those two weeks.; work sucks, but not working
sucks more. School would be better than work if it
paid, but alas, it doesn't. I just had test 4 of 5
for my class in Visual BASIC, and I got 48 right
out of 50, 96%. I did work a little bit on
Julie's
birthday, Friday the 6th.
KONTRA
got paid to play
at the
Beehive,
and I made a pretty easy $50, --
which I promptly turned over to Julie so she could
buy a turkey.
Julie and I are having her family (including
Butch's Mom and her husband) over to our house
where Julie is to prepare what I am sure will be a
magnificent and sublime feast.
We'll probably be
up
by Mom and Dad
for Christmas this year --which
reminds me, I have to call Mom to make
arrangements. I hope I can make a little more cash
with the band, I need to get a haircut before I go
up there, too.
Well, I have school tomorrow morning so I have to
get my ass to bed. I trust this short epistle will
satisfy your thirst for my prose for the time
being, though you really have no choice but to make
do.
Later,
--Greg
* * *
Howdy stranger, welcome back. Were you in Jamaica
or what? I'm glad to hear your busy, instead of
just sitting on your ass. What guest book signing
is Kevin talking about? That's great your getting
paid for the band playing, just don't quit your day
job. Oops, you don't have one. (just joshin')
What's up with these high pollutin' words like
prose, sublime, and alas, alas. If there's one good
thing about your unemployment, at least you got a
life. I just don't have time for one. Although, now
with this computer I have more options. Did you try
talking to D.V.R. yet about a new computer? How
about those Packers, no wonder you get trashed at
Club Butch. pretty soon we'll be back to saying
'maybe next year'. Well I guess I'll say good-bye
for now. I haven't been doing much but working and
playing with my computer, you know e-mailing people
and never getting replies. So until next time, same
bat time same bat channel. Bob