In the last month I’ve had the privilege of looking after a couple of friends’ cats. One cat I know pretty well, and he is familiar and comfortable with me. The other cat I just met for the first time, and she is very timid and skittish and not happy that I’m there instead of her family.
I’m no expert, but I do love cats. We have 3 cats of our own – each very different to the other. Aggie (13) is our diva, the tiny princess with the loudest voice and opinions to match. She hates her brothers! Sylvester (11) is the social charmer, the “southern gentleman”. Everyone loves Sylvester and he loves everyone. Bear (12) is scared of every noise and every sudden movement. He’s the most lovable of the 3 and a big snuggler and by far the loudest purrer!
Dealing with cats is exactly like dealing with children. You love them, entertain them, feed them and give them a loving and warm environment to live in. They will reward you with the occasional lap-sitting experience, fling litter all over the place, shed all over your furniture, throw up immediately after you’ve fed them (but making sure it’s in a camouflaged area so that you step in it first) and destroying your furniture with their claws. Despite all that, they give you just enough love, purrs and entertainment that make it all worthwhile.
We have provided our cats with giant cat trees, houses, windowsill shelves, a bajillion toys, catnip everything, regular vet visits to maintain their health and wellbeing, lots of love and attention, and an array of cozy blankets and throws in every room in the house. They are spoiled rotten! I can’t resist items with cat pictures on them. I believe I would turn into a cat if I wished really hard.
So back to the guest cats: The first one, who I will call “Dollar” is a feisty, all boy cat. He loves to play and hunt and chat. He loves to be brushed, loves his perches and watching birds and squirrels in the trees. I show up to feed him and he greets me with a small “mew” and then weaves himself in and around my legs while I get his bowls ready for food. He likes treats. A lot! He also likes catnip, but it doesn’t rule his day. I have a lot of fun with Dollar, and I know he likes my company because he will jump up on my lap and “make biscuits” on me while purring and we’ll have a little chat about life in general.
The second cat, who I will call “Flower” is very timid and skittish and she made me work hard for her approval. Flower comes from a cat-happy family who dote on her. She likes to hide in quiet, cool and dark spaces. I developed a ton of patience trying to coax her out from under a bed or out of a closet. She is food-motivated and treats and catnip won. She likes to do things in her own time and makes me hunt for her when I arrive at her house. I’m pretty sure she watches where I go and then hides exactly where I’ve already checked. She won’t come out to eat breakfast or dinner while I’m there, but the food is always gone when I go back. I started “marinating” a couple of toys in a catnip bag and used them to buy her affection. It worked! We slowly progressed to her playing with the catnip toy under a bed while I watch, to me laying out a path of treats out from under the bed and finishing with a treat on my knee. She works her way through the treat path and ends with the one on my knee. I get a quick head butt from her, and I’m allowed a quick stroke before a quick hiss and a scramble back under the bed.
Just like us humans, Flower is a morning cat. She doesn’t have a lot of time for me in the evening’s but is ready for me to give her some attention in the morning. I always let her know when I’m leaving and sometimes try to hide for a few minutes to see if she will come out and see if I’ve really left. By the end of the time I was looking after her, she would meet me at the front door when I arrived and flop over onto her back for me to stroke her. I didn’t get a purr out of her, but I got lots of friendly meows. She finally let me brush her and give her full body strokes. She was very happy to have me hang out with her and keep her company. I actually missed spending time with her once her mom and dad returned. I may have to go back for a play date!
My last day with Flower was spent with me oozing myself into a tiny closet where she’d hidden herself because there was a storm brewing, and she was scared of thunder. I feel like I didn’t quite finish off our time together.
If you’re a cat person, you will totally relate to this blog. If not, just insert “dog” where you see “cat” and maybe it will make more sense to you. Either way, we love our pets dearly and they truly are part of our family.
Author: Lisa
An aspiring blogger who blurts out random stuff at random times, often forgetting who her audience is and making amends as she continues with life. Happily married to Greg and basking in the love of her 3 cats: Aggie, Sylvester and Bear.
Job Searches
What do you do when you feel like your employment talents are all washed out? I’ve worked upward of 35 years in various admin jobs. In my own mind I like to think that I was fairly good at what I did. I didn’t always like what I did and the older I get, the less I like working with people. Having worked most of my career in South Africa where jobs are detailed, and you know what is expected of you. You have protection as an employee and, for the most part, I’ve worked for companies that took care of me and rewarded me appropriately and recognized the extra miles I went for them.
In the USA things are different. I’ve lived here for 17 years and I still don’t really understand the work ethic. I find workers to be lazy and skive off and blame colleagues. Remuneration, benefits and general treatment is poor, and competition is high.
My previous job was odd, to say the least. I was working for a non-profit organization that was run by people who’ve barely had any experience in the workplace and have zero management skills. I was laid off due to the pandemic, and the handling of that was dealt with very badly. There was no warning, and I received the phone call when I was in my car running errands for said company. Missouri is an “at will” state meaning an employer can terminate an employee “at will” for no reason and with no remuneration package, so of course, they did. It took me 2 weeks to allow the fury to die down, but now I’m just thankful that I don’t have to deal with the colossal idiocy of those running the “business”. I do miss my clients and am still in contact with some of them, but for the most part, I’d like to forget about those 11 years of my life and move forward with something positive.
So, how do I do that? Having been on unemployment for nearly a year and applying for jobs at all opportunities, I’m not sure where I fit in. If you are a nurse or have a medical background, there are literally hundreds of positions available. I have no medical background and am not a nurturing soul. Most admin positions require a good chunk of accounting or bookkeeping. To say I’m hopeless with numbers is the understatement of the century. If it involves counting more than the amount of fingers I have, I’m lost. Restaurant/food service positions: well, I have a story about my attempt to “serve”. I lasted a week, dropped and broke more stuff than I delivered and at the end of the week I owed more than I made. So, that’s not a good option.
What CAN I do? Good question! I’m not sure what I’d call myself. I know I do NOT want to work with people and would love to work from home where everyone can just leave me alone and let me do my thing. I love to write, and I think I’m fairly mediocre at it. Data capturing is boring, but I can do it. Call center work – no! It means dealing with people. I used to be a people person, but people ruined it for me. I’m not lazy and I work hard and deliver results. I’m in my 50’s and still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I get seriously anxious about interviewing and having to “sell myself” and have no self-esteem to promote.
I am so envious of people who find their niche and love what they do. Greg was lucky enough to revamp his career in his 40’s and did a 180-degree turnaround from what he was doing. He loves it and is great at what he does and very happy running his own business. I want that too, but as what? If people ask me what I’m good at, I have nothing to answer them with.
It takes its toll on you when you’ve applied for hundreds of positions and get nothing. I get an update every week confirming the jobs I’ve applied for and also how many other people applied for the same job. It’s in the 100’s! There are very few positions I’ve applied for where less than 50 people applied for the same one. How do I compete with that?
I’m not at the bottom of the barrel yet, but I’m seriously despondent about jobs.
Vaccines
On March 26th, Greg and I got our first Covid/Anti-Covid vaccination. Both of us fared very well, with Greg having a sore arm for a couple of days and me being hit by fatigue 24 hours after the vaccination. We both bounced back well, and, on April 23rd we received the 2nd dose. We were both excited to get it and we feel a sense of relief about it. In 2 more days we will be considered “full vaccinated” after allowing the vaccination to vamp up our immunity. We both had a few side effects from the 2nd shot. Both had a sore arm, intense fatigue, aches, elevated temperature, but nothing serious, and they disappeared after a couple of days.
The brain is a funny thing. I’m constantly arguing with myself about a lot of topics. Greg is away most of the days at work and I’m alone in the house, surrounded by 3 sleepy cats who get annoyed when I prod them awake for a conversation. To avoid this annoyance, I talk to myself.
One question I go back and forth with is “is it a Covid vaccination or an Anti-Covid vaccination?” Surely it’s an Anti-Covid vaccination? The word “anti” refers to against, so if I don’t want a disease, surely I want an ANTI something? Then again, the word vaccination refers to protection and I want to be protected AGAINST something. This makes my head hurt, but these are the things I ponder! Here is a good source that can help to explain it better than I can – although the brain arguing continues!
There seems to be so many pros and cons to getting the Covid (anti-Covid) vaccination. Some seem realistic to me and others are just plain ridiculous and full of human fear. NO, you will not turn into a robot, Bill Gates isn’t going to control you, you are not being microchipped, your DNA is not being altered, you will not be infertile and so many other weird hypotheses. Where do these ideas come from? I’m sorry to say but some of them come from people who are uneducated about vaccines and science, and misunderstand information given and put their own fears and ideas into their explanations to others. Some even come from ministers who turn it into an incorrect religious theory with the aim to control their flock. I suspect they are uncomfortable with the idea, so they project their fears onto a greater spectrum of folk who trust them. How sad!
Humankind have been through this many times over the decades. How do you think the flu vaccination (or is it the anti-flu vaccination) was invented? Or how was smallpox eradicated? Or cholera, or polio, or tetanus, or diphtheria, or measles, or mumps, or German measles and so many more. We all line up to get those vaccinations without any quibbling and they all follow the same testing procedures before being made available to the public. In fact, a couple of years ago, I was bitten by a dog and went to the Urgent Care for treatment. The paramedic said to me “we’re just going to give you a tetanus shot, ok?” I said “sure” and whammo, I had it. I didn’t question it, I didn’t ask what was in it, I was just thankful for the protection.
Yes, we are right to question what ingredients are in a vaccine, but when it comes to a pandemic where millions (MILLIONS) of people have died from it, then I feel that you just need to suck it up and take one for the greater good of mankind. How dare you refuse to take something proven to protect you and stop you from passing it on to someone else. Who do you think you are? I believe your arrogance and selfishness is totally motivated by fear and the mistaken ability to listen to others before doing your own research from reputable sources. Don’t get me started on people who refuse to wear masks! It’s over a year later and we are still in the pandemic. Wear the mask, wash your hands, socially distance from each other and please, get the vaccine!
What a year can do to you
Well, we are now a year into what we could call “lockdown” since the Coronavirus Covid-19 shone its ugly face in St. Louis. I still remember the story about the woman who’d returned from Europe and taken a train from her point of entry back in the USA and chugged on back down to St. Louis. How many people did she unknowingly give it to, and how many people did they unknowingly give it to? We will never know.
To date, St. Louis has had 22,015 positive cases with 440 deaths. Missouri has had 575,000 positive cases with 8,771 deaths. The USA has had 29.5 MILLION positive cases and 535,000 deaths. I just can’t comprehend those numbers. Everyone has been affected by Covid-19, whether you contracted the virus or not.
Our “lockdown” was not well enforced at all. There were no consequences for defying orders or suggestions. There are still people who have never worn a mask, still think it’s a fake virus, think it will go away on its own, think it’s just the flu, refuse to have the vaccine for some ridiculous reasons, and can’t understand the reason for mask wearing and social distancing. I’m beyond shaking my head at them. I’m angry at them for not doing what is asked of them and I blame them for having super spreader parties and being selfishly negligent and inconsiderate of others. How can they profess to love and care for people out of one side of their mouth, and yet act like a recalcitrant toddler and spew ignorance and hatred out of the other side of their mouth? I don’t get it. After a year of it, I think I’m able to let it go and just accept that there will be those among us who are just plain awful. We all know it would be different if they were directly affected or someone they loved was affected. In the meantime, they get away with it and there’s nothing we can do to change their minds.
This last year has been interesting. There was fear, trepidation, frustration, anger, relief, financial catastrophe, illness, unbelievable heartache and grief, acceptance, forgiveness, celebration etc. Our emotions were on an all-encompassing, colossal, giant wave-machine-making rollercoaster ride!
We personally have had family members who endured the virus. Some mildly, but some very seriously. Thankfully, they have all recovered and either have had the vaccine or are currently awaiting it. We personally were affected financially too. I lost my job in June and Greg shut down his business for several months. I’d always heard how America was the “land of opportunity”, but that has not been my experience at all. Finding a job during a pandemic is tricky, to say the least!
In the meantime, I have written a children’s book and am in the process of trying to figure out how to publish it. I love my little story and thoroughly enjoyed writing it. I look forward to writing many sequels to it. I’m looking forward to starting my garden again. I have some plans for it and will enjoy digging my fingers into the dirt and watching as a simple seed grows into something I can eat! How amazing is that??? We have plans for our house too, and when our ship comes to shore, we will embark on that stage too.
Life with heartache and troubles is not without accomplishment, growth and joy! A full circle of experience produces strength and endurance.
Snow!
We had our first snow of the season this week! It was terribly exciting (for me). I love snow. I love everything about it: the fact that no two snowflakes are the same, how slowly the flakes waft to the ground, watching how it slowly covers the ground – first, wetting the grass, then a soft, icy layer and then how it slowly builds in thickness. Very few people go out in it while it is falling, and that first crunch under your feet just enthralls me.
We only got 2 ½”, but it still felt like our first real snowfall. We usually have had a lot more snow by this time of year, but I think winter only really started a week ago! Then, there’s the rush of kids to the slopes! Any slope will do! Our local park has a great small slope for kids to slide their plastic sleds down and there are snow angels dotted around the area too.
It was the first time I had to sweep and scrape ice and snow off my car. It took quite a while, but I layered up and wore gloves. My car started first time (YES!) and I put all the heaters on to help defrost it while I scraped. Once the car was cleared, Greg brought the snow shovel and salt upstairs for me and I tackled the driveway, sidewalk, and path. Luckily, it was fluffy snow so not heavy.
Greg had to go to the office and even though I asked him many times if I could take him, he declined, saying that he had his YakTrax and would be fine. I’ve learnt to stop feeling guilty when he walks to work in snow, ice, rain because he tells me that he needs the exercise and enjoys his walk. I’m certain that all the neighbour’s think I’m THE most awful wife “making my poor blind husband walk to his office”. I’m not, it’s at his request. He’s quite a sight to behold, layered up like the marshmallow character with a huge laundry backpack strapped to his back.
I love the immediate quiet after the snow has fallen. The trees are beautifully covered with icicles and the mix of white on green and brown is startling. The slight breeze causing the fluffiness to blow off, usually onto my nicely cleaned off sidewalk, and instantly freezing to ice. I must keep reminding myself that even though the paths look clear, there’s usually a great deal of undetected ice making it look like glass and as slippery as, well, ice! Seldom a winter season passes without me skating on the path by mistake.
Today we are getting a lot of rain which will wash all the snow away. Hopefully, we are not finished with the snow for the season and we’ll get a good dumping before spring. For now, today I will watch the last dredges of snow melt while sipping my hot chocolate and playing with my cats.
Inauguration Day – January 20, 2021
It’s an extraordinary feeling! It has been such a tumultuous previous four years and I can almost feel the global relief as the world finally lets out their breath that they’ve been holding onto for 4 years. Colour is returning to our faces and I have a sense of peace and calm.
I always wonder why anyone would want the job of president. Who would want that kind of power, distinction and responsibility? I know that on a global scale, it’s just far too big for me to deal with, but locally I’ve been involved in community things and that’s the scale that suits me. Sometimes even on that scale it can be very overwhelming and infuriating too.
I’ve developed a newfound admiration for VP Kamala Harris. She strikes me as a very real person, and I look forward to seeing how she handles this new position. We all know that President Joe Biden is everyone’s friend. They have their work cut out for them undoing all of Trump’s ridiculous work. Restoring the nation’s trust is going to be a 24/7 job.
I do wish people (media) would stop referring to Kamala Harris as the first of everything. Yes, we all know that and we’re all as pleased as punch about it, but let’s focus on her accomplishments and her ideas going forward and not about her race, colour, creed etc. That is not the focus of who she is.
Joe Biden’s speech was a refreshing, positive and uplifting call for peace and unity. At the end of it I just wanted to leap up and hug him and then follow him around the White House all day. The poem by Amanda Gordan was exceptionally inspiring and she oozed meaning and hope. Thinking about the inauguration, the word that springs to mind is “refreshing”. Under the previous administration everything seemed to be so abrupt and uncertain and left people hating one another. Rational people have been perpetually aghast and disgusted and its finally a thrill to see a light at the end of the tunnel, that is not an on-coming train!
Today is the beginning of restoration. It will not be easy and it’s not as if a magic wand has been waved, but it’s a start and I’m embracing it! Are you?
A Look Back at 2020
I’ve been pondering for a few days what to think of 2020. Off the bat all the rotten things come to mind: virus, pandemic, death, sickness, heartache, depression, grief and everything that goes with it. I must admit that I’m battling to find sparks of good. Believe it or not, but I’ve mostly kept rather quiet about our personal lives this year. It’s hard to believe when you see me so active on Facebook. Here are my musings:
January: It started with me being very ill with pneumonia (3rd time in a year). I was at the urgent care clinic twice and on a load of medications to keep me going. I recovered, slowly. My container from South Africa arrived with all my most prized treasures from my parents’ house. There weren’t a lot of items, but everything had meaning and was very special to me. I still haven’t decided on the best places for the paintings. We had a quick visit from an old school friend of mine and we thoroughly enjoyed spending time with them. Another friend moved in with us for a few months while she got her life on track. I believe it was as healing for her as it was for me. My job started to get a little peculiar and we started going through evaluations which turned out to be very positive and we even got a small increase.
February: Rumours of a virus in China were floating around, but we carried on as if it would never get here and cause us any issues. How truly ignorant we were! I continued with book club meetings, socials and the usual scheduled events. Bear had a birthday, followed the next day by Greg’s birthday. We went out to a brewery to celebrate with Greg. Our neighbourhood happy hour group had our last in-person Tweetup of the year, unbeknownst to us! My job carried on as if nothing weird was happening although we knew something was up. We had an early Mardi Gras/Shrove Tuesday so I made pancakes as per usual. Lent started.
March: I went to a lovely exhibition at the St. Louis Art Museum – Art in Bloom, where various florists displayed an arrangement according to a theme. It was a lovely, refreshing day. I mailed off my application to get my British passport renewed. The virus is here in all its glory and my work closed down for the last 2 weeks of the month. We worked from home and I collected mail from the post office and took care of business at the office once or twice a week. We attended a work board meeting conference call and from that, we knew the proverbial brown stuff was about to be flung against the fan.
April: Work was open for the first few days while we tried to figure out what to do. We were told to apply for unemployment and continue to work from home until further notice. Greg closed his business for 2 1/2 months as required by the Health Department, and was able to apply for unemployment (of sorts) during this time. I filed for unemployment on April 5th. Easter happened and we had a lovely Easter Sunday with good food and a nice relaxing day. I started to prepare the garden for planting. We had our first Zoom Happy Hour for our neighbourhood association – took a little getting used to, but it was nice to see people.
May: Things were getting weirder with work. We weren’t getting any straight answers, calls were short and vague. We continued to keep the business running and made plans for the eventual reopening, whenever that would be. Our neighbourhood flea market was cancelled (darn it, I have lots of items set aside for that, now taking up space in the basement!). Our Neighbourhood Association Board meetings are all now virtual, as are the Board Orientation meetings that I run and our neighbourhood library book club. I’m starting to get used to Zoom. I started planting my gardens, but we had a late frost which killed it, so I replanted it. Twice!
June: Work was now in high motion weirdness and on June 17th when I was halfway to the post office to collect the mail, I got a phone call from the boss telling me “you’ve been terminated with immediate effect, come in on Friday to hand in your keys.” Just like that! Exactly like that. It was handled exceptionally badly, and I could spend hours telling you JUST how badly we were treated. We received no severance, no notice period, no thank you for your 11+ years. One thing I learned from that experience is that I will never, ever trust a non-profit organization that doesn’t have any business people on their board. They are a giant “bless-me” club and I want nothing to do with them. They have no idea how to run a business and can’t even write a simple business letter. Enough said about that. I guess it’s still a little raw. There were only 2 staff members, so we went in on the Friday and handed in keys and various visa and shopping cards that we used to keep the business functioning, handed over passwords and logins and left. Walking out was actually quite a relief. Now we knew where we stood, and the world was our oyster. I was angry for a few days about it but there was nothing I could do. Missouri is an “at will” state which basically means that an employer can fire you for no reason at all and doesn’t have to offer you any severance. Basically, employees are worthless nothings. I was mostly angry about the way it was handled than the actual firing. The office is still closed, and they still have no staff, but they are officially “operating.”
Still June: To take my mind off the work nonsense I decided to throw my talents elsewhere. I’ve always fancied myself as a bit of a writer and my dad was a great storyteller. When I was little, he used to make up bedtime stories to tell me, so I decided it was time to write them down. It took me 2 weeks, but I finally got the jist of the story down and started tweaking it. By the time it was finished, it had changed a bit and definitely improved. It’s a children’s book about a purple penguin called Percy who lives in Antarctica and is just starting his first day of being a postman. I’m hoping to self-publish on Amazon.
July: Usually in early July we travel up to Greg’s mom to spend July 4th with family, but this year we decided to stay home. The small town they live in wasn’t being very proactive about the virus and we didn’t want to take any chances. So, we spent a quiet time at home in our garden with me putzing around, writing and doing job searches, and Greg back at work. One of the things that was in the container that arrived from South Africa in January, was my mom’s collection of knitting needles. I had been looking for them for years and had found them shoved in a cupboard in the garage when I was clearing the house out. My mom was a great knitter, so I just imagined that if I knitted something with her needles, that I’d be just as good, right? Well, sort of… I found a knitting pattern for a small penguin and I tried my hand at making one. He turned out pretty well, and I will keep trying to perfect him – he’s purple, naturally! I feel like I’m paying a tribute to both my parents by documenting my dad’s story and making a penguin with my mom’s talents to honour them both.
August: I finally ventured out properly for the first time since mid-March and found a hairdresser I like and got my hair cut! I looked after a friend’s dogs and another friend’s cat for several days, going to their houses a couple of times a day looking after them and feeding them. I have a Segway Scooter and I got lots of rides in during that time. It’s nice to fly around the neighbourhood with no worries and I enjoyed that. More Happy Hours, and book club meetings all via Zoom. Aggie celebrated a birthday and Greg and I celebrated 17 years of remarkably interesting, wedded bliss! By this time, my garden was doing pretty well and producing some decent veggies. Every year I say I’m going to do things a little differently in the garden and each year I forget because I’m so eager to get everything planted. Maybe next year…
September: Greg and I both reminisced about our dad’s who both died in September 2019. I celebrated a birthday quietly (as I prefer) and Greg and I both got flu shots! That was a first for both of us. We also bought a new fire pit and hoped for lots of evenings outside around it. More Zoom stuff…
October: Everyone is getting very tired of the virus and many people are doing stupid things and taking big risks. Our new cases are spiking off the charts and our leaders are not taking control. The looming election is making people angry, bitter, rude, and hateful. I totally despise election years as it makes people totally irrational. October is usually festival time. Most festivals were cancelled, although there were one or two who managed to hold something. People flocked to them, new Covid cases rose out of them. I felt almost frantic about people who refused to wear masks. Masks = good. Covid = bad. It’s not rocket science. I also went back to my new favourite hairdresser and got a perm. Woo hoo, curls! Later in the month I coloured my hair, but I do that myself. We had a dentist appointment that had been postponed from March and escaped with no ill effects. We had our furnace looked at in preparation for winter and yes, more Zoom stuff. I also got the pneumonia vaccine.
November: Finally, the election! Greg and I got there early and the line was already out the door. It was a nice sunny day and thankfully no rain or snow. The line moved pretty quickly, and we were home in an hour. Then then nail biting began until we heard that Biden had won (Thank the Lord). Naturally, the losers were BAD losers and are still contesting it even though there’s no proof of any tampering. It really is like watching kindergarteners stamp their feet and hold their breath in a tantrum. I started baking cookies. Lots and lot of cookies – each batch was a different type. I usually send or take cookies up to Greg’s mom for Thanksgiving and Christmas for when we’re all up there, but seeing as most of us were staying home, I didn’t need to send so many, although I sent plenty. Thanksgiving was at the end of the month and we had one friend over to join us. We ate a lot, chatted with family on Zoom and watched a movie on TV. It was nice and quiet.
December: And here we are at the end of the year. I guess our biggest news of December was that we had a little Covid exposure experience. We went and got tested on Christmas Day, did the rapid test and we were negative, but the doctor was concerned that we may have tested too early and recommended that we do it again and that we do the regular test. So, 3 days later we went back to redo it. Luckily, we got the results the next day and again, we tested negative. Between Christmas and getting the final results, we were very stressed and anxious. Our brains made us feel like we had every symptom. I was convinced we were positive, and Greg was convinced we were negative. I need to learn to trust Greg! As soon as we got those results all our “symptoms” vanished. We Zoomed with Greg’s family again on Christmas Eve. It’s not the same as being there, but it was lovely to see everyone and hear all the familiar bantering that goes on. Our weather has been unusually warm and sunny, and we are yet to have snow. I was able to go into the garden and do some weeding. In December!! I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. Aaaand, more Zoomy stuff! Yesterday I cleaned the house thoroughly to get rid of all lurking germs, dirt and disease. It was symbolic too, as I felt I was sweeping out all the anger, frustration and heartache of 2020 in preparation for a calmer and more civilized 2021. I’m really hoping that 2021 isn’t getting ready to say “hey, hold my beer…!”
Just like everyone else, we missed out on being with friends, family, going to our usual haunts, feeling like we can go outside and go anywhere we like, missed vacations, birthday’s, holiday, festivals etc. BUT I’m so thankful to still HAVE my friends who are safe and healthy and ALIVE. I wouldn’t give that up for anything. Staying safe, being careful, wearing a mask, washing hands, sanitizing and socially distancing will continue to play a huge part in our lives, and I’m thrilled to be able to do that. It will get better. This will pass. We will move on and find new and different ways to entertain ourselves. I’m thinking that we might see a surge of new inventions come out of these various lockdowns. I am grateful to be alive and to have survived this dreaded year. I feel like 2020 was just an enhanced continuance of 2019 and I think we’re well due for a break of this new norm.
This is a very long blog, but I wanted to document it. I wish you all the happiest of New Years. You may not have the big moments you are used to for this New Year’s Eve, but make the moments you have special, intense, and meaningful. Make memories – good ones. You are responsible for yourself, so take responsibility and be responsible! God’s richest blessings to you all. Happy New Year!
Wind!
Jumping Jiminy Crickets!
It’s a beautiful Autumn day today and I decided to go for a walk around my neighbourhood. Sweatpants and t-shirt were all that was needed although I kind of wish I had worn shorts instead.
I set off up our block towards the park, thinking I’d stop and sit under a tree and think about stuff, but it was so windy that I was genuinely concerned that the tree may fall on my head! So, I kept on trucking. Up the hill, down the hill, up again and back down.
What I did discover was that every leaf in St. Louis deposited itself under my feet. All, that is, except for the leaves on the tree in front of my house. That tree is hanging on dearly to its leaves and waiting for a time when, just as I think I’ve finished raking everything up, it’s going to let go of a hundred million of those little darlings all over the front yard!
I also forgot to tie my hair up. Big mistake! My hair flew from the one side of my head, to the other side and ended up sticking straight up. Even my eyebrows and eyelashes blew around. It wasn’t the Cape Town type of wind where you have to lean into it to be able to walk forward, but rather huge gusts that take you by surprise and cause you to lose your balance a little.
Today is trash day too, so all the recycle bins have been blown over and are starting to be blown down the street. That should cause some interesting moments when everyone comes home from work and tries to figure out which bin is theirs. I’m sneaky – I’ve painted our house number inside ours.
The pretty season is over! I’m sad to see it go, but we had a good run and Autumn has been lovely. I think we’re on the bottom end of it now and heading towards winter – my favourite season. It means the holidays are around the corner. Thanksgiving next week (wait, what??) and 6 weeks later, Christmas! In just over a week’s time I will be hauling all our Christmas decorations out and plopping them all over the house. Maybe even a few things for outside too this year, seeing as we will be home.
In the meantime I’m going to enjoy this lovely weather and take my cuppa tea outside!
Cover Letters
Is it just me or does everyone hate writing cover letters to accompany their resumes?
I’ve been on Unemployment since April 2020 and have been applying for jobs since June 2020. The job market really is saturated right now and if you are in the medical profession (especially a nurse) you can pretty much name your price. St. Louis has several great hospitals so the need for good medical professionals is high. I, on the other hand, have not an ounce of medical experience in my body, so that’s out!
When applying online for many jobs, employers sometimes make it mandatory for you to include a cover letter. This is basically a precis of your resume and bragging rights for you to tell them why they need you. I’m seriously lousy at that, because, for one, I have no idea what to brag about and two, I always underestimate myself and consider myself to be terrible at what I do (I’m not, I’m brilliant).
When I left South Africa, I left a great job with a great company who looked after me, appreciated me for what I did, and I felt safe and secure there. Since arriving in the US and getting into the work environment I have never found my niche. I felt like I took a giant step backwards and since then, my skills have been forgotten and my confidence is at rock bottom. I’m also 15 years older!
The last time I was on Unemployment was after Hurricane Katrina. We’d bounced around a bit and finally found ourselves feeling more at home in St. Louis. I started volunteering at a non-profit and out of the blue they offered me a job. It suited my needs, was convenient and close to home, but in hindsight I should have moved on years ago. I wasn’t stimulated, I was disgusted with the overall management of the business and there was no scope for me at all. That job was the downfall of my skills, confidence and abilities. I should have known better.
Unemployment is a little different this time round. COVID-19 has dictated new aspects to be considered. This time round I’m actually getting rejection letters! Who knew that I’d be delighted to get a rejection letter? I’m sure they are automatically sent out by the respective websites, but still! Some letters tell me how many applicants applied for the job – it’s seldom less than 100.
Then there’s the cover letter. I hate the cover letter. Why send a cover letter when all the information you need is in my resume? Isn’t that why we have a resume? What happened to “look at my experience”, “look at my qualifications”, “check out my volunteer stuff”, “look at my accreditations and accolades”! Why do I need to spill it out again in a letter? Did you just read my resume and instantly forget everything in it, and need a letter to remind yourself? I have worked for an employment agency in South Africa and in the USA and they are pretty similar. The only main difference being the cover letter. In South Africa we don’t care about it. In the USA, YOU MUST HAVE IT, otherwise we just don’t know who you are and we cannot possibly consider you for a position because no cover letter means that you’re really not interested in the job.
Let’s scrap the cover letter and polish our resumes, include everything that is needed so that we cut down on paper. I have no idea who I am in the workplace. My skills, and lack thereof, are undefined and don’t fit into what I know. Most jobs here have fancy titles that really mean nothing. Everyone is a director of something or a research something or an executive whatever. Call a spade, a spade. Pay people what they are worth and give applicants an opportunity.
Reflections
A year ago today Greg and I left for South Africa to take care of my dad’s affairs, attend his funeral and pack up the house. It seems surreal that a whole year has passed, and:
a) My dad’s house is still no closer to being sold (although we’ve had a buyer for 11 months);
b) His estate, which is totally uncomplicated with no debt etc., has barely been started to be worked on; and
c) I haven’t been able to speak to my dad in over a year.
I’m a “daddy’s girl”. Always was. I look like my dad, sound like my dad, have the same sense of humour, wit and sarcasm that my dad had, and I’m constantly hearing “you’re just like your dad”, which is fine for me to hear. In fact, it’s a compliment.
When I was a little girl, I would always be following my dad around. If he had a hammer in his hand, I had one too. In fact, I loved hammering nails into things. Sometimes (ok, most times) not the right nails, and not hammering them into the right places either.
As I grew older, we butted heads – because we were so alike. I remember him yelling at me and trying to teach me trigonometry, while I was yelling back at him telling him that I can’t do it. Turned out I was right! He was a tool maker and used maths all the time. For me, once they introduced the alphabet into maths, they lost me, and I zoned out and never found a loophole to zone back in.
So, exactly a year has passed. Greg and I boarded a plane from St. Louis, to Atlanta to Johannesburg where friends met us at OR Tambo and took us back to the house. Dad’s house. My childhood house. As we arrived, we realized that there was load shedding going on and there was no electricity. We threw our bags down and exhaustedly just fell into bed. It was Spring in South Africa, still chilly in the morning’s and evening’s but beautiful during the day. I had 4 days to put a funeral together and then 3 more weeks to pack up the house, donate everything inside the house, decide what I wanted to keep and figure out a way to get it home. I kept having that feeling that it’s the last time I’ll be on South African soil. I grew up here, in this house, in this neighbourhood, in this province. It’s my home. My soul is here. My heart will always be here. I had a great childhood here, made wonderful, timeless friends who I still miss desperately. It’s so hard to emigrate. Every time we go back to Joburg I’m reminded about how hard it is to not be there. My lifeline to South Africa was cut when my dad died and it scares me that this could truly be “IT”.
We have a nice life in St. Louis. We are a happy couple and lucky enough to own a house and be owned by three cats. Our little family is complete. Memories are a funny thing. The good, the bad and the ugly can mess with your mind and sway you from happy to sad in a nanosecond.
We’ve been through a lot. More than most couples will ever endure (hopefully), but God doesn’t test you with more than you can handle, right? Hey God, I’m on the thin line here. Can you back off a bit and let me catch my breath? Sure would be great! Major catastrophes really are a great way to measure your faith, reflect on your relationship and test your decision-making talents and we’ve experienced most of them! I’m quite happy to forego the ones we’ve missed!
Stay strong, stay healthy, wash your hands, wear a mask!