What a year can do to you

Well, we are now a year into what we could call “lockdown” since the Coronavirus Covid-19 shone its ugly face in St. Louis. I still remember the story about the woman who’d returned from Europe and taken a train from her point of entry back in the USA and chugged on back down to St. Louis. How many people did she unknowingly give it to, and how many people did they unknowingly give it to? We will never know.

To date, St. Louis has had 22,015 positive cases with 440 deaths. Missouri has had 575,000 positive cases with 8,771 deaths. The USA has had 29.5 MILLION positive cases and 535,000 deaths. I just can’t comprehend those numbers. Everyone has been affected by Covid-19, whether you contracted the virus or not.

Our “lockdown” was not well enforced at all. There were no consequences for defying orders or suggestions. There are still people who have never worn a mask, still think it’s a fake virus, think it will go away on its own, think it’s just the flu, refuse to have the vaccine for some ridiculous reasons, and can’t understand the reason for mask wearing and social distancing. I’m beyond shaking my head at them. I’m angry at them for not doing what is asked of them and I blame them for having super spreader parties and being selfishly negligent and inconsiderate of others. How can they profess to love and care for people out of one side of their mouth, and yet act like a recalcitrant toddler and spew ignorance and hatred out of the other side of their mouth? I don’t get it. After a year of it, I think I’m able to let it go and just accept that there will be those among us who are just plain awful. We all know it would be different if they were directly affected or someone they loved was affected. In the meantime, they get away with it and there’s nothing we can do to change their minds.

This last year has been interesting. There was fear, trepidation, frustration, anger, relief, financial catastrophe, illness, unbelievable heartache and grief, acceptance, forgiveness, celebration etc. Our emotions were on an all-encompassing, colossal, giant wave-machine-making rollercoaster ride!

We personally have had family members who endured the virus. Some mildly, but some very seriously. Thankfully, they have all recovered and either have had the vaccine or are currently awaiting it. We personally were affected financially too. I lost my job in June and Greg shut down his business for several months. I’d always heard how America was the “land of opportunity”, but that has not been my experience at all. Finding a job during a pandemic is tricky, to say the least!

In the meantime, I have written a children’s book and am in the process of trying to figure out how to publish it. I love my little story and thoroughly enjoyed writing it. I look forward to writing many sequels to it. I’m looking forward to starting my garden again. I have some plans for it and will enjoy digging my fingers into the dirt and watching as a simple seed grows into something I can eat! How amazing is that??? We have plans for our house too, and when our ship comes to shore, we will embark on that stage too.

Life with heartache and troubles is not without accomplishment, growth and joy! A full circle of experience produces strength and endurance.

Day 19,264…

So, today is day 19,264 of my life.

That translates to:

633 months old
2,752 weeks old
19,264 days old
462,336 hours old
27,740,160 minutes old
1,664,409,600 seconds old

Time is a strange thing. It takes time to grow, but it seems to take a longer amount of time to grow UP. You plant a seed in the ground, hope for rain, hope for sun, wait and voila, about 3 months later you’re eating home grown veggies. You try to sneak in a late planting and do everything in your power to protect the plants and hope for no early frost and you may be lucky enough to harvest for a second time. Then winter arrives and nothing grows. You don’t tend to anything so nothing grows… In fact, due to lack of attention (partly) things start to die.

This is my 3rd attempt at writing for the Roggie-Blog. The previous 2 times I had finished the blog and was ready to publish it and clicked on “save draft” so that I could check it, and it disappeared. No idea where it went, but it’s gone. Because I’m 19,264 days old, I can no longer remember what I was writing about so I’m not able to replicate it. The first Blog “almost post” was written by angry me. Too much going on, too much negativity on social media and the news and I was, as we say in South Africa, “gatvol” (fed up). The second Blog “almost post” was written by disillusioned me. A bad start to the week, a couple of days of “gatvolheid” (fed upness) and I just pounded out words. Both times it happened, it made me frustrated. Greg said to me “just redo it”. Redo it? Redo what? I can’t remember what I babbled on about. Something to do with jobs, cars, protests, quarantine, cats, sleep, and the lack thereof, walks, heat, gardens etc. Ok, so maybe it was a good thing those posts never made it to Postville. I am sure they were epic, but alas, we will never know!

This is my 12th week of quarantine! Greg started back at work last Tuesday after considering all the pros and cons and doing an excellent job of preparing his office for the “new normal”. He has been fairly busy and had real conversations with all his clients before working on them. They are all complying with his requests and he is comfortable with working again – for now. But, our local new case numbers are increasing again, which is to be expected with everything re-opening, protests, summer vacations etc. It’s almost like people think COVID-19 has vanished.

During these 12 weeks I have stayed home as much as possible. I’ve washed my hands A LOT, used an obsessive amount of hand sanitizer and cleaned everything possible – I’m still not done (are we ever?). I’ve managed to take care of several projects around the house and planted my garden and taken care of it unlike any previous year where I’d never be this far along. My body, mind and spirit feel more rejuvenated because I haven’t been so rushed to do everything. I needed it. I needed it A LOT. I still have a long way to go but as I find myself again, I’ll be sure to share it.