It’s been nearly a year since I’ve blogged! A YEAR! Where did that time go?
You know how you feel when you have one of THOSE months! The ones that annoy you, thrill you, cause you immense anticipation, disappoint you, exhilarate you and test you to the highest degree! That’s November 2024!
I thought I was immune to THOSE months, because I reached menopause and, quite frankly, anything goes in menopause. Things just don’t surprise you anymore. But, I was surprised!
Today is November 10th and we haven’t yet switched on our heat – new record! I’m still in t-shirts, my garden is still growing, the cats have not yet puffed up their winter coats, and Greg is not complaining about the cold…yet! I don’t really know what to do with myself.
I spent a good part of the year working on organizing LinFest, our neighbourhood association’s Fall Festival. It was my 6th one (and my last) and it was successful, but very different to organize this year. Lots of highs and lows, frustrations and jubilations. During July, August, September and October I was at my peak of stress, and besides LinFest, had many other obligations and responsibilities. I got it all done, but everything suffered – specifically, me! We talk a lot about mental health these days, and my mental health was not healthy – I’m still working on it. I was taught the notion of “chin up and suck it up”. Enough is enough. I’m not a doormat!
Since the pandemic hit in 2020 and I lost my job, I have not looked for a new one. I discovered that my once love of working with people and calling myself a “people person” has changed drastically. I don’t want to work with people, I don’t want to be around people, people annoy me and cause me stress and anger. I no longer like people. There, I said it! People have lost their sense of reality and tolerance. People buy into every opportunist promise. People are like lemmings and follow the most bizarre ideas and theologies. What happened to common sense? We now have a buzz word and excuse for every issue. People are selfish, greedy, rude, immoral, and self-serving. People don’t listen. People are too busy.
I am learning how to say “no” and “not now” and “leave me alone”. I’m not good at it, but for my health and sanity I need to perfect it. America is so different to other countries and cultures. They claim to be a melting pot of immigrants, and yet, they hate immigrants. They’re interested in them, but don’t really want them. It’s hard to be a foreigner in a mildly modern world. Words like “patriotism” are used a lot, but not always used correctly, and it has different meanings and feelings for different people. I live in Missouri, nicknamed the “Show-Me State”. Missourian’s want proof. Don’t tell me, show me! Prove it! Not a bad slogan, but it can make you feel like you’re being yelled at. Am I easily offended by it? No, not at all. I’m tougher than that, but not everyone is, and it would be nice to see some softness and consideration for those who need it. Also, if you want me to show you and prove things to you, and I do, then accept it and believe it, else why would I bother? You can’t demand proof of something and then reject it when it’s given to you. Just because it doesn’t fit into your thought process does not mean it’s wrong. What it does mean is that you need to give it some thought.
Fortunately, there are blogs where people can express their feelings and thoughts, like I am doing right now. They are MY thoughts and feelings, shared by MY experiences. You may not share those thoughts and feelings, and that’s ok, but I’d ask that you respect mine, just as I respect yours.
For the rest of the year, I will try and not be so overwhelmed by life and what it throws at me. I will continue to trust in God and learn about His purpose for my life. If you get antagonistic towards me, I will walk away, not because I’m afraid, but because you are adding more stress to my already stressful life. I feel like we would all be healthier and calmer if more of us did that.